You have been with us all along on this journey with Caleb so you need not think of it as Caleb's alone - this belongs to all of us. We wish you well and are sending thoughts of healing your way. Please let us know.
In so many ways, and in most ways it is good to be home. Now the work of the family begins - we are inching Caleb back to life with little pushes and prayers that he will heal well enough to live a fullfilling life, independent of us as much as can be possible. It is a frightning path. At some points we are convinced that he can get there, at others we are worried sick. What do we do with the memories that glare back at us and carve the lines around my eyes deeper and deeper? Night time is the hardest when I sit alone next to his bed. While sleeping he looks ever the same ole Caleb, then he wakes to say that he is in pain and I fall apart inside- that gut wrenching pain that cries out to the heavens- let this not be! I also worry that the boys will forever be watching over him and will not live their lives - they are so young and deserve so much goodness.
Here is where we are- Caleb has a rigid schedule with time for visitors on weekends. He starts outpatient therapy this week. He is strong physically but suffers from dilusions and headaches almost daily. He has short term memory loss, but smiles at familiar faces and has the demeanor of an angel.
We are adjusting the very best that we can. Kai and Max are right there with him and are strong. I am staying positive for the most part and will wear this journey with Caleb until we are as worn in and comfortable as the soles of my walking shoes....
A poem from Max - given to me on mother's day when he was in kindergarten...
She has long yellow hair.
She has a peach color face.
She puts make up on her eyes and lips.
She likes to drink coffee.
She likes to be outside. She helps plants grow.She plays with me alot.
I love everything about her. I hug and kiss her when she is sad. I love her alot. Max
I am in good hands don't you think?